Happy Christmas Moo.

Dearest Maddox,

Merry, merry Christmas my love. I love you more than words can say. I’m so happy to have spent your fourth Christmas with you my three year old love.

You got scissors. Just like you asked for. And toys. Oh the toys. You received so many nice toys. And games. The only game we played with you thus far was a matching game which you loved. For Christmas you got Candy Land, UNO Moo, Ants in the Pants, Memory and Parcheesi (which you may still be too young for!).

You are loving UNO Moo and Candy Land. I love watching you play. It’s a wonderful interaction. We also had great news this Christmas. On Christmas Eve Uncle proposed to Tina! Proposed means that he asked her to be his wife! This is very exciting! Uncle and Tina are so happy, that makes Mama so happy too.

You were a pretty excellent boy this weekend Mr. Maddox. Thank you so much for being my best helper. I love you.

Always and forever and one day more,
Mama

White wine in the sun

Darling,

When Christmas comes, we'll be waiting for you in the sun...

I know it has been a terribly long time since I've written to you, Moo. You'll find that happens with Mama. She has wonderful intentions but sometimes lacks the motivation to complete something. Like take 20 minutes to blog. I do get better, then fall back and better again. You'll see.

It is your Dad, Penn Jillette, and Tim Minchin to thank for this update. I wanted to update sooner as you've been having there terrible three year old temper tantrums and I wanted to remind you I love you in spite them but I couldn't find the words.

Three days before Christmas, "White wine in the sun" on repeat, and I've found words. Daddy and I have been discussing a lot of things lately. The best ways to make sure you know you are safe, loved, protected, well-disciplined and gently handled. We are parents of a three year for the first time. You are three years old for the first time. We are all learning together. Daddy and I make mistakes, we disagree on the best way to do things sometimes but we always agree in the end. The end is always the same. We want you to be the best Maddox Danger you can be.

One of the discussions we have had a lot is how to explain Christmas to you. For Christians, this is a very religious holiday. Just as Hanukkah is a very religious Jewish holiday. We are atheists and we will not have you indoctrinated into anything. Not until you decide otherwise.

We talk for hours about how to turn Christmas into a secular holiday for you. Some of my most favorite memories are from Christmas. Loved, cherished, tangible memories.  The bliss of family, baking cookies, gifts under the tree…I want you to have these memories. I want you to be filled to the brim with love and happiness when you smell pine, firewood and warm sugar cookies just out of the oven. I want you to think Santa is jolly and kind. I want you to remember back to your childhood and have Christmas stand out as one of those moments that you cannot wait to relive year after year.

How do we do that? How do we stick to our morals and allow you the same cherished memories we have? We don't want to take Hanukkah from those whom have it as a religious holiday, nor Christmas. We don't want you to praise an imaginary friend. We don't celebrate Ramadan, Rosh Hashanah; why Christmas? Can we respectfully celebrate a religious holiday we are morally against? We don't know. We have no idea.

That's a scary thing to say out loud but Mama and Daddy won't have all the answers all the time. Sometimes, we will just need to follow our hearts and do what we think is best. And what's best to us, is even though you won't understand, you'll learn someday, that to us, your family is the reason to enjoy this holiday. We will always be together for this day. Whether you are near or far, we will be here for you. "Drinking white wine in the sun."

"I really like Christmas. It's sentimental, I know…"

I love you,
Mama

Songs, they're around whenever you need them

Dear Maddox Danger,

My sweet, sweet love.  You, my love, will be a musician.  If you aren't, I won't be disappointed but how music moves you.  You love to 'play' guitar and sing while Mama plays her ukulele.  You know dozens of song and sing to all of them, even if you do not know the words.

The only thing you want when you are upset is for mama to sing Twinkle Twinkle to you.  It is blissful.  Currently you are obsessed with singing along to Sesame Street and the Backyardagains.  And reading.  You are starting to memorize and read back to me and Daddy.  Your current favorite is The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  You like that you can count how many foods he eats.  You can recognize some letters and numbers.

Yesterday you told me your carrot stick was the number one.  How bright you are!!! Last weekend we went to visit Grammy and Papa at the lake.  You were such a good boy in the car on the way there.  Once we got there you said hi to everyone and promptly fell down two stairs giving yourself a bloody nose that would have made even Rocky Balboa cringe.  Fully living up to the name Maddox Danger Reynolds.

This weekend we are going to celebrate your friend Baby Ronan's 1st birthday!  I know you'll have a good time there.  You always love being at the park.

I love you!
Mama

Wine parties and the movie Cars

Dear Maddox, 

Mama is counting the minutes on a Friday afternoon at work.  I have approximately 83 minutes left before I can see you and Daddy at home.  Tonight we are going to Grammy and Papa’s house to have ham and sweet potatoes for dinner with Uncle KC and Aunt Lorraine.  KC and Lorraine are up visiting for Grammy and Papa’s special wine party, which sadly, you will not be attending.

It’s not that I don’t want you to come to Grammy and Papa’s fancy wine party, it’s just, well you are a bit too small to drink wine.  So you and Saru have a date.  I know you will have the very best time.

Do you know what was wonderful about this morning Maddox D?  I woke up next to you.  Around 3:30am you wet the bed and called to Daddy to save you.  Your poor, tired Daddy stripped you down, put you in a clean dipe and brought you into bed with us. You crawled right up next to me with your toy car (Chick Hicks) and your blanket and fell asleep in the crook of my shoulder.  I woke up to the smell of your shampoo and the softness or your breath.  I don’t know if there could have been a more glorious wake-up.  I guess it could have only been better if Daddy and I didn’t have to wake you because we had to leave for work.

I love that I will be able to tell you stories when you are older about the wonderment of co-sleeping, even though we do it so rarely nowadays.  I am so happy with the path that Daddy and I chose and our style of parenting.  You are so bright and so well adjusted.  I am so enamored by your brilliance.  The things you say and when.  You told a toy the other day that you didn’t appreciate his attitude and he could be nicer.  I obviously say that to you too often.

We’ve been watching a LOT of Disney’s movie Cars as of late.  You are entranced by the story and the characters.  You want to know why they are behaving the way they are.  Who is nice?  Who is mean?  Why was that a funny joke? (Because Daddy and I laugh at the movie sometimes.) It’s very sweet.  So much in fact I can hardly wait till we can cuddle up and watch it again.  For the 1,467^th time.  Cuddling with you is worth it.

You are so wonderful Maddox and I love you so very much.

Mama

Promise

Dear Maddox,

I promise to always treat you with respect.  This does not mean I will not be firm or disciplinary but I promise to always treat you as I would like to be treated.  I promise I will be stressed.  I promised I will be frustrated.  I promise you will make mistakes.  I promise I will too.

But I promise, promise to always respect you and to try to see where you are coming from.  I will always try to think of your emotional and physical well-being when speaking to you.  I promise to try to never talk down to you.  You are a person, just like any other.

I love you,
Mama

Tired Mama

Dear Maddy,

A day and a half, a day and a half, a day and one half… that is what Mama keeps repeating to herself over and over again. Daddy will be home in one and a half days. I cannot thank you enough for being such a good boy for Mama while Daddy is away. Even with you being the best behaved little guy, Mama is still tired.

You are so busy my baby boy! You are always on the run and just like any super happy, super busy two and a half year old, you are all sorts of messy. Everything you touch is like an explosion. Toys, DVDs, playing cards, food! You think it is such a treat to make a big mess then tell me about the big mess you just made. You like to test and see if I will make you pick it up with me and if you will go to time-out for not helping. I’m happy to say most times you help me and when you don’t the threat of time-out is enough to get you to help.

Even with you helping, there is so much “grown-up” stuff to be done. Garbage to be taken out, dishes to be washed, dried and put away, rugs to be vacuumed, clothes to be washed, floors to be mopped, food to be cooked. There isn’t much time in the mornings to complete the grown-up stuff. You and I wake up between 5:30 and 6:00am. Then we cuddle for 20 minutes are so. This is important and cannot be traded out for any of that yucky grown-up stuff. Then we get ready. You get dressed, I get dressed, we brush our teeth, get on our boots and coats and out the door we go.

Then when we get home there are castles to build, trains to race, shows to watch, play food to cook, dinner to cook. Then there are bathes to be taken, books to be read, goodnight kisses to be shared and then it is 8:00pm. At 8:00pm Mama is tired. Mama has worked a long day, played hard and would love to rest. That is where the grown-up stuff comes in. Daddy is the BEST grown-up stuff helper. Without Daddy being around Mama has a lot more to do. So Mama is tired.

Tired but happy. So happy because you are so happy. Today you went sledding for the very first time with your friend Michelle. I am sure you had a great time. I’ll find out in just a couple of hours when I pick you up. I think tonight we will do something fun. Mama needs to pick up some diapers, bread and milk so maybe we’ll go to Target. We’ll get some juice at the food court and run around like crazies. Maybe grab a sandwich at Panera? Home for a bath and some snuggles and then lather, rinse, repeat for just one more day without Daddy.

I love you Maddy Danger,
Mommy Danger

A letter from Daddy

To Maddox,

Your mom is much better about writing to you. Just because I don't write as often, or as much, or as flowery as she does...  I love you more than she does. Don't forget that. I'm your favorite. Say it. Thank you.

I am out in Ohio right now for training missing you and your mom like crazy. I should be paying attention to how to properly take a recorded interview, or what subperitoneal subluxation arthroscopic babble translates to in English. But for some reason all I can think about is you and your mom back home. Strange isn't it??

I have called home everynight to say goodnight to you and that has been the highlight of my day. I can't stand the fact that I won't be able to hug you for another four days. I'm sure by the time you read these letters it will have been a lot longer since we hugged, but you should know I have never stopped loving being near you and holding you.

You made my day today. Well you do that most days.

Today was different. When I called home tonight I read you "the going to bed book" by Sandra Boynton. For Keith, who is never tired.  We read this every night and it is the last book we read before we tuck you in and turn out the lights.

After I read you the story you said goodnight and that you loved me and I was saying goodnight to mom and she told me the best news I have ever gotten.

As she was driving you home from Jen's house earlier in the day you were talking about Thomas the train and saying how Mavis was Thomas' best friend. When mommy asked who your best friend was you said it was me.

I guess today I am your favorite.

I couldn't be happier. I don't have any way to say this more emphatically. There is no concievable way I could feel any better about myself, or our family or descisions that your mom and I have made.

You gave me all I ever wanted,  so I had to write you this and say thank you.

I love you.
Daddy